paddling...

Revelation 22:1

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb...

Last night I took communion with a dozen or so members of the community I am a part of. Though we take communion regularly together as a larger community (RE:hope), once a month we gather to do it in a more personal environment... to look each other in the eyes as we remember Jesus' sacrifice for us. We share scripture, pray and sing together - it feels lonely and intimate all at the same time AND it is personally quite powerful.

As we were praying together, a friend of mine prayed a prayer that, for lack of a better word, "pinched" my heart. It made me take notice and got me thinking about an experience I had a few summers ago. His prayer went something like this... "God forgive us... we paddle around in the edges of what is possible with You... we want to go deeper." As I sat and listened I had this vivid memory of me with my kids floating down a little river in Okotoks Alberta, Canada.

Anyone who has spent anytime in a river knows that there is a significant difference between the water on the edges and the water in the middle. Though all the water may be flowing at relatively the same pace… quantity matters. I remember “rafting” with my two boys on the edge of a small river a little ways from where Britany's parents live. Really it was my boys who were rafting, I was simply crawling along the bottom of the shallow riverbed. As we wandered into the deeper parts of the river it wasn’t long before I too was floating down the river and unable to stop. It wasn't because I had lost my footing (the water was still quite shallow - though I may have, my feet were pretty numb)... no, it was because of the pressure of the water. The river was carrying me along.

I wonder if perhaps life in Christ works the same way. The level of difficulty increases as the speed and vastness of the pressure increases, but when you fall you are carried instead of ship wrecked. In other words, the closer you are to the center of the river the easier it is to stay on course with the river (but the harder it is to stand on your own)…the easier it is to let the river move you (but the harder it is to go where you want)… there is less work that has to be done to stay in the rivers current (but more work to be done to stay a float). It is dangerous business navigating this river (especially with my wife and children), but maybe that’s the way it is supposed to be. Maybe that's what it means to lay down our lives for the sake of Jesus... to surrender.