reflecting...

Isaiah 53:10

Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him...

As I sit on the other side of Christmas day and just before the New Year, I find myself reflecting on this past year and looking to the next. To be sure, there is a lot to reflect on. And though I often find myself wrestling over mistakes and successes of the past year or possibilities of the next, this year feels different, this year I find myself reflecting increasingly on Jesus and His cross. It is an interesting time to be focusing on the crucifixion in light of the Christmas carols still playing over our iPod... but nonetheless here I sit.

I think that I am beginning to learn just how essential it is that we allow ourselves these moments of reflection on the great gift of Jesus AS we reflect on our own lives, successes, failures and futures. Reflecting with this set of eyes seems to change all of our perspectives. On this note, I would encourage you to allow your mind to linger a little longer on Jesus before you begin the process of creating "resolutions"... start with the manger... move towards the cross... and see what is left after you focus your eyes on the life of the Lord that we follow. As you reflect this season check out this recent post at Desiring God from John Piper's book The Pleasures of God. It includes a powerful parable found at the end of one of the chapters in his great book.

Lord lead us on into deeper waters as we follow Your life... Your lead. Further on Lord... further up... take us to where You are that we might see all that we are through Your birth, Your life, Your death and Your eternal radiant light. Amen.

waiting...

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

A watched pot never boils... and apparently, a watched Christmas gift never charges! Such, I am sure, was the scene around the country as children everywhere waited for their Christmas gifts batteries to be charged/assembled/ready to use (mostly because of ill planning on their parents part). So it was with my kids as they eagerly waited for their toy's batteries to quick charge... As I was watching them wait (much more entertaining than it sounds) I stumbled across a poem on my computer that I wrote a while back entitled Waiting.

Waiting…
I am waiting…
waiting to move for You…
for You to move for me…
move for me Lord…
for me Lord I pray…
Lord I pray…
I pray to You…
to you who are for me…
You who are for me waiting…
for me waiting…
waiting…

timothy mark mcdonald

I was struck by how often I am waiting on God for the good works which He prepared in advance for me to do. As unprepared as I was with my children's gifts, God is PREpared, as it were, from the beginning of all things. And yet I wait. I wait for God to move... when in fact He already has. And He waits.

Awaken me Lord I pray.
AMEN.

Christingle

John 1:9-12

The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world... to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God...

Today we did something that I am sad to say we have never done since we have lived here in Scotland. We did a carol service and each child held a Christingle. What is a Christingle you ask? It is a symbol (for children) that finds it's roots in the Moravian Church.

Each Christingle consists of:

an orange that represents the world
a red ribbon that represents the blood of Jesus
4 cloves represent the fragrant fruits of the earth and its four seasons
and a lighted candle pushed into the orange represents Jesus Christ the light of the world

It is a pretty cool symbol for the Christmas season as we celebrate the coming of the light of the world... the savior of the world. Thank You Lord for Your gift of life.

With us...

Matthew 1:22-23

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: "Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel" (which means, God with us).

Matthew 28:18-20

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Recently I was reading some comments by Scot McKnight (author of the book Jesus Creed) on his blog Jesus Creed in regards to key advent words. He has written a brilliant series of thoughts on key words found in the Advent story... I recommend reading them. The word he was commenting on was Immanuel. In it he comments on a simple but amazingly powerful connection between the beginning of the book of Matthew and the end - God with us... and it got me thinking.

If God is with us (which I believe He is) where could we not go… what could we not do… who could we not touch? Jesus ends His earthly ministry standing on the ongoing reality and power of His incarnation... His coming to be with us. Why? I am sure that I don't know all the reasons but one I know for sure - courage!

A few nights ago my son Duncan had a nightmare. As he stumbled into our room, blurry eyed, he only asked me one thing, "Dad, can you come cuddle me... I'm afraid." As I cuddled with him in his bed (and prayed for his peace) it wasn't my rationalizing that helped him drift back to sleep... it was my presence.

Father, thank you for being with us. Thank You for sending Your Son to make that more of a reality to us. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit's ongoing work. Thank You Lord for Your promise... thank You for Your presence. Amen.

Walking the walk

Genesis 3:8

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day...

John 1:14

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us...

Ephesians 4:1

...walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called...

One of my favorite places to get work done is the GoMA (Gallery of Modern Art)... not necessarily because I am a huge fan of modern art but because they have comfy couches, Costa Coffee and FREE WiFi! Occasionally though, I do wander the gallery for a few minutes and catch up on the latest exhibits... This week I ran across a simple (but brilliant) realistic work done in glass reinforced plastic. It was crafted by Kenny Hunter and commissioned by the Glasgow City Council (of all people) for the Millennium. It is titled "Man Walks Among Us".

It is a six foot tall realist portrayal of Christ... the man who walked among us. As the Museum describes, "Christ is not on a pedestal or raised higher up as in more traditional sculpture." Or, as the artist said, "Christ is usually depicted frozen and passive. To counter this I portray him active, walking alone." It is a startling image amongst the other pieces (especially the demon-like piece in behind) and yet powerful in it's simplicity. He looks casual yet intent... with purpose.

I have often wondered what "...the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day..." was like. Was it bold and thunderous, quiet and gentle or something completely other? Was it familiar? Is that how they knew it was the Lord? Did it sound similar to His steps as He later walked through the desert, on the water, towards Jerusalem... up Golgotha. Was there a presence about Him that made His steps unmistakable? Indescribable?

And I wonder... do my steps resemble His in anyway?

I hope so.

Generosity in the moment... and for a lifetime.

Acts 20:35

...remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'

Yesterday was a very cool day.

Two very significant things happened.

First, after our Sunday am gathering at RE:hope, about 12-15 of us went out in groups of 2 & 3 and (as a community) gave Christmas cards away with £20 notes in side. It was a simple experience... "Merry Christmas, what's your name... my name is... This is a gift from Jesus. God bless." Now, this wasn't the first time that we had done this but it was the first time I had done it with my boys. My group of three was made up of Duncan, Celtin and myself. But, what made this time so significant was... THEY prayed over who should receive it, THEY picked the people who we were going to approach and THEY did all the talking (well, most of the talking)! It was awesome... in an unpredictable 6 & 7 year old sort of way. As we were chatting with one of the homeless magazine salesmen (check out Big Issue), Duncan mentioned that the gift inside was from Jesus... the guy looked me in the eyes. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect. In the past I have met some great guys... and some not so great (they have had a rough life)... but this guys eyes were moist. A Christmas gift from my little boy. All of a sudden Celtin piped in at the top of his voice, "it's got £20's in it!" He just smiled and said, "I think that was supposed to be a surprise." And the three of them had a conversation about whether they had been good this year for Santa... my kids are great missionaries.

The second thing that happened actually preceded this time of wandering when my son Duncan gave his first gift out of "his own" money to RE:hope. He has recently started receiving a meager chore allowance of £2 a week. After I handed him his hard earned money I asked him how much he wanted to give back to Jesus as an offering... a thank you. Without even a flinch or a second thought he said £1! 50%! I can't tell you how proud I am of him. It got me thinking... imagine if he decided at this moment to give 50% of all that he received for as long as God gave him breath... imagine the lives touched... imagine the impact of a life lived simply and generously in this materialistic world.

God, bless his generosity... his "widows mite". Multiply it. Make in him and his brother and sisters hearts that believe in radical giving... proving with their lives that You can be trusted to provide for all things. Make us all living examples of Your radical and ridiculous generosity. We believe Lord... help us in our unbelief. Amen.

Touched...

Matthew 8:14-15

And when Jesus entered Peter’s house, he saw his mother-in-law lying sick with a fever. He touched her hand, and the fever left her, and she rose and began to serve him.

I was struck today by how many times Matthew makes a point of saying that Jesus touched people AND where people wanted to touch Him. I counted at least 10 different blatant occurrences and a bunch more subtly suggested. The blind man’s eyes, the women who had chronic bleeding, the little children… This got me curious so I did a search on all the occurrences in the Gospels… 30 occurrences of the word “touch” in the ESV and there are many more occurrences that don’t use the actual word "touch". It made me wonder how often Jesus touched and healed people’s hearts as he touched their bodies? Touch is such a powerful thing… it brings all sorts of healing on the outside AND the inside.

In addition, there are specific times when Matthew makes a point of mentioning it when there doesn’t seem to be a reason. In one such moment Jesus touches the hand of Peter’s mother-in-law and she gets up and serves them. Why the hand? Does it relate to her subsequent act of service for Him? Hmm?

Yesterday the Doctors told us that all the tests that Britany had done in September had come back clear. Clear of MS, clear of Lupus, clear of cancer, etc. Wow, thank You God! In Britany’s words:

Tim and I are so thankful and thrilled that so many things have been ruled out. The Neurologist does have one more set of test he would like to do in January so he can say he ruled everything out that he could… God has been so good to us over this season and I can't tell you the peace Tim and I had going into today. Our hope in all this is that you all would see the invaluable role you have played. The prayers that have been sent up on our behalf is nothing short of AMAZING! Thank you for walking this long and never ending journey with us. God is and has already used today for His kingdom. It truly is wonderful how he leads us on His path in life and does not let us get distracted by other trails. Oh what a few years this has been and honestly Tim and I would not trade it for anything. Our hearts and minds have much to rejoice about as we will look at this coming miracle of the birth of our Savior differently… Take time to be thankful for the lives He has given you, we are!

God has touched Britany (for this moment) and it is a powerful thing… His touch found it’s way to us through the hundreds of encouragements, prayers and hugs… and it has brought all sorts of healing on the outside AND the inside. I am left wondering what purposes lay in my wife’s future and how this relates to her future acts of service for Him? God truly is good. And He is truly in control. He will not waste a tear.

I praise You Lord for this moment. No matter what comes next we look to You… we trust You… we love You. Amen.

drew moser: Who's hiding from who?

drew moser: Who's hiding from who?
Great quote pulled by my friend Drew from the pages of Henri Nouwen.

Generosity... who am I?

1 Chronicles 29:14

But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.

Matthew 7:7-12

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

2 Corinthians 9:6-7

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

So, this Friday, while everyone was out of the house, Hallie and I stole away and bought the family Christmas tree. We made the ritual trek down to Byres Road with the pram and, with Hallie sitting in the front seat, crammed the tree in to the second seat - yes, it was quite a spectacle. 2 foot toddler in front... 6 foot tree in back. With out too much effort we were able to walk the tree home. Not too big. Not too small. Perfectly green... a little of the outdoors in our living room. Though I sometimes whine (due mostly to needle clean up), it really is one of my favorite family traditions. Come Saturday we began the process of decorating the tree with our 12 year collection of strange and wonderful Christmas decorations and 12 able bodied hands. Though tremendously chaotic, it reminded me of all that I hold dear and I found my mind wandering over king Davids words so many centuries ago... who am I Lord that you should have blessed me so?

This morning as I was reading in Matthew I was struck with a "SO" that I had never seen before. It fell in between two passages that I was very familiar with but had never seen as connected. Jesus tells us that if we ask, our Father knows how to give good gifts REALLY well (7:7-11). Jesus also tells us that to love our neighbor (and obey Him) is as simple as doing for others what you wish they would do for you (7:12). Both of these amazing truths are powerful in there own rights. There is this amazing God who is so free with His love and free with His blessing... desiring to show His glory by meeting the needs of His people and providing for the salvation and redemption of all creation. And, there is His people, commanded and inspired to pour out love and mercy on those with whom they share this globe. But, what is so amazing is the power that comes when you connect the verses together with the "so".

God gives generously SO live generously.

Put another way; God gives generously because of who He is and we live (including giving) generously because we cannot out give Him and are simply streams of His generosity for the entire world.

On our tree there is a simple ornament of a muted Mary and Joesph holding in their arms baby Jesus... THE Christmas gift... Hosanna... the God who saves us. Who knows how to give us good gifts. A God who will not be out given! Who dares us to live our lives with radical generosity that we would lay down our stuff... our lives... as He did... to love those around us as they are crying out to be loved... because He loved us that way first.

Who am I Lord, and who are my people, that we should be able to give out of such blessings as these? Everything we have has come from you, and we are only giving you what has come from your hand. Do Your mighty work Lord in our hearts. May we live as streams of Your generosity in this world that all would know that you are... and that You are the reward of those who come to You. Grant us the courage to live this way. We love you Lord, Amen.

Awaken us (2)

Romans 12:9-13

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

I love this passage from Romans. It represents an almost "how-to" ish glimpse into what the essence of Kingdom Christianity looks like.

First... love each other genuinely.
Second... hate things that are evil.
Third... when you find something truly good, hold onto it with all your strength.
Forth... love each other with devotion; like a family of brothers and sisters.
Fifth... outdo one another in serving each other.
Sixth... live ablaze with passion for Jesus that fuels service for our King.
Seventh... rejoice because of the hope we have.
Eighth... be patient when you suffer.
Ninth... pray, pray... and pray some more.
Tenth... give generously of your resources, time and life.

A while back I was reading J. Oswald Sanders classic book, Spiritual Leadership - for the third time - and I came across a quote in regards to Romans 12.

"Because he was constantly full of the Spirit, Paul's mind was aflame with the truth of God and his heart glowed with God's love. At the center of his life was a passion for the glory of God. No wonder people followed Paul. He exerted himself to lead. He did it with intensity and zeal. And the spirit of his life was contagious to those around him."

Yes, yes, yes!

I love the fact that this passion (or zeal) is in the center of these verses... like a fire burning in the middle of everything else. I find it so difficult to live this life daily with out this fire. It acts like a furnace for my mind... for my body... for my soul. It awakens the yearning for what could be. It pushes me to do things that seem impossible. It gets me out of my own brain and gets me focused on my neighbors and my brothers and sisters. It calls me to give what I do not have and fall on my face and thank God for what I do... it generates a heart that WANTS to lay down my rights, my possessions, and my life... in other words, it does what is impossible for man.

Awaken this heart Lord to Your love. Awaken my mind to more of Your truth. Keep me FULL with Your Spirit. Fully AWAKE. Fully ALIVE. Let me be contagious to those around me... but most of all show us Your glory Lord. We desire to follow with all that we are... heart, soul, mind, and strength. Amen.

mourning...

Matthew 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Today a little baby boy died in India... he was only 12 days old. He died of a rare birth defect. I know that he probably wasn't the only baby who died in India today but the difference was I know his parents. They are servants of God who have committed their lives to reaching their nation with the love of Jesus Christ. Active evangelisticly, in training, teaching, discipling and most recently with a vision of a home for abandoned baby girls... the are hero's of the faith. Living simple lives, doing a difficult work with significant opposition... they press on.

And in the midst of all of this... today they lost their little one.

Tonight as I was praying with my boys, Duncan turned and looked at me and obviously perplexed said, "babies aren't supposed to die." Hmm. It's true. They aren't supposed to. As we prayed together for this family I was struck by Duncans words. This isn't the way it's supposed to be. It isn't the way it is supposed to be for all the thousands upon thousands of children that die every day, week, month, and year. Babies aren't supposed to die.

Would you join me as I pray for this grieving family? Intercede on behalf of their hearts and their minds. Praying for faith and hope. Asking for the right people to be surrounding them in the right moments with the right expressions of love. Pray for their only son. Pray for their marriage. Groan with them in their mourning.

My prayer for you Sam, Suzannah and Johannah is that you would know God's strength and love and in the dark places you would experience His light.

MANY vs. ONE

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.

Over the past several months I have had MANY different thoughts on my mind… competing for space, time and energy (and sleep). Between Britany’s health, family issues, our “job” and general life I have had more than my share of competing voices. As time has gone on I have learned MANY things about my own weaknesses and strengths, our family’s weaknesses and strengths, and a few of the purposes behind this journey God has us on. This has led to MANY questions, which have in turn led to MANY more internal conversations, and the “MANY” cycle continues.

Recently a friend of mine (thank you Pastor Andy) introduced me to a song by Jeremy Riddle called Sweetly Broken, from his album Full Attention. The opening lines to the song are:

to the cross I look... and to the cross I cling... of it's suffering I do drink... of it's work I do sing...

I have to confess, I have listened to those lines probably a hundred times… over and over. This is something I have not done since I was in high school or college but alas I am drawn to them and hit the repeat button again. Now, I am not much for “tic-tac” theology, but this ONE idea has been reaching deeply into my soul… filling an emptiness that I have been feeling for a while as I have wrestled over MANY of these important internal conversations… Jesus Christ… crucified.

What do you do when you have no answers to so MANY questions... when you can’t switch your brain off? I think Paul (and Jeremy) might have it. You resolve to know ONE thing… “Jesus Christ and him crucified.” No more fancy words. No more unspoken conversations. In the midst of what feels like a storm of weakness, fear and answerless questions I need a lifeline to save me from drowning in my own head. Right now I need ONE thing to make sense of the many… to add perspective in the struggle… to create peace in the midst of the unknown. It sounds simplistic I know, but nevertheless:

to the cross I look... and to the cross I cling... of it's suffering I do drink... of it's work I do sing...

Thank you Jesus.

Thankful

Colossians 2:6-7

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

I have a lot to be thankful for...
One amazing wife, four great kids, an awesome family and an incredible group of loving friends and supporters (from all around the world). I attend an amazing church filled with great people who love Jesus and have loved us well through some tough times. I live in a neighborhood (and amongst neighbors) that are interesting, dynamic and kind.

Today, on American Thanksgiving, in Glasgow Scotland, all those pieces combined alongside...
40 adults and 23 children in 2 flats with 2 - 22pound turkeys, 1 ham, 3 pots of potato's, 4 salads, green beans, pecan pies, etc. to make one amazing day.

Thank you Jesus for all that you are. Keep our lives in You. Keep us grounded and growing towards You. Keep our faith strong and our hearts full. Thank you for being our everything. You are amazing. Amen.

But God...

Ephesians 2:4-10

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

But God… We all have them right? Those times in our walk with God where loving our Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength seems effortless. Fully alive moments of success in relationship or service that makes our passion for God so real…our calling so clear…our ability to sacrifice so natural. Moments where we can almost hear our Father in heaven saying, “this is my son…my daughter…in them I am well pleased!” We actually feel the “immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” But then, there are other times…times when love grows cold…times when each step stirs fear, indecision and doubt. They are seasons of death and darkness…seasons of the cross.

But God… This past year, our community in Glasgow has been walking through one such season. We have experienced brokenness in ways that we always hope as children of God we won’t have to. In many respects, we have watched as the ministry that God built has been slowly disassembled before our eyes. It is a season of asking many questions about our calling, our purpose and our reason to exist.

But God… It is in these times that it is the hardest to believe that he has not made a mistake… that “we are his workmanship”. It is in these times that it is the hardest to believe that we have a purpose… “good works, which God prepared beforehand”. It is in these times that it is hard to walk the steps laid out for us.

But God… It is a thought, an idea, which I hold in my mind and heart that fuels my passion in the hardest of times. It is as if Paul writes these words for me to show this crux moment between what was and what is. Between what has been and what will be. It is my Lord Jesus walking step by brutal step towards His greatest moment of darkness and His greatest gift of love.

But God… It stirs the heart in the deepest place. Could it be that God is still intimately and strategically moving in and out of our lives shaping and forming all that we are… fixing that which was broken… finding that which was lost… making us into what He has always dreamed we would be? Could it be that the weight of this world does not have to rest on my shoulders…but that it rests on the crucified shoulders of this “great love with which he loved us”?

But God…

Brotherhood

1 Peter 5:5-10

...Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you

I’m not sure how long I was unconscious… 5-10 seconds maybe. All I remember is that I was vomiting over the edge of the fence one moment and dreaming about sleeping in my own bed the next. I think it was then that I remembered that I was in India… that only moments ago I had been standing… conscious.

We had been there to have a fun-day with a handful of orphaned kids (dieing of AIDS) but, within moments of our arrival, I was the one being ministered to by Solomon, the “man with many children”. I was heartbroken, embarrassed and humbled. He just cracked a big white smile and said that this happened to the children all the time… he had lots of experience.

Humility is an interesting thing… hard to produce; it seems to be something you need to “fall” into. Often it is difficult for us to embrace knowingly – to actually set about “clothing” ourselves. When we do, it often feels fake or feigned. I wonder if that is because, often, humility walks so closely with suffering… and suffering is a traveling partner that we are so afraid of in our western world. Yet, when I sat with one of the little ones on my lap… and imagined Solomon fanning them after they had passed out… my heart broke for him… for them. Suffering was not a stranger to these children.

In these pictures are many who I would consider my brother… Wade, my brother in Christ through the last couple of years. Jeff, my ACTUAL brother (in-law) who I have had the joy of serving beside many times. My Dad, both a father and a brother, who has been a great source of encouragement for me as I have pursued God. Solomon, a man whose passion for Christ has produced a compassion for the abandoned children of India… and still had some to spare for a bewildered foreigner/brother in Christ. But perhaps the most humbling and perspective giving brother is the little boy whose sheepish smile said, “yeah, I’ve been there before. You’ll be ok… but you sure look funny on the ground!”

Thank you my little friend.

Lord God, do the impossible today… in this moment… and heal him from the disease that ravishes his body. And may we meet again… in this age or the next. Amen.

I press on...

Philippians 3:12-14

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

It is amazing how tiring it can be to follow Jesus. He tells us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light… but it seems to be the pace that is killing us. What with all of the healthy (and unhealthy) expectations we place on ourselves… our churches… our leaders. The mixing of our lives with passionate following and passionate leading, focused living and space for others, pouring our hearts out to God and pouring our lives out for people (or is that the other way around) can leave us so… well, tired. And this tiredness is made all the more complicated by the psychology of yester-year that says avoid that which is hard… flee from that which hurts… following Jesus should be painless… blah, blah, bla. How are we to know the balance?

The other day Britany and I had our kids at a park just outside of the Minster in York. It was glorious. A peaceful quiet clear day that was only broken by the occasional gusts of autumn wind that sent orange and yellow leaves spiraling through the brisk air. My kids knew intuitively what MUST be done and they began running through the park chasing floating leaves that fell like snow upon the green lawn. As the wind gusted it was almost like a frenzy of leaves, arms and hands… even our youngest Hallie joined in! Celtin was breathing so hard (I thought his heart was going to explode)… never quite able to get to the leaves in time, he would suddenly forget about the leaf he had be pursuing and move with explosive redirection towards his next object of passion… straining forward toward his next prize.

So often, that is what this life feels like to me… but with one notable exception. The smile on Celtin’s face could have outshone a thousand suns.

I wonder sometimes if balance isn’t the point. Not that balance is bad (in fact, I am in a season of relearning what it means to live with balance); I just wonder if it is not the real issue. I wonder if it isn’t the smile that makes all the difference or, more accurately, the source of the smile… “because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” What if the real issue is connected more to the heart that beats within? “because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” What if the power to forget, to strain, to press on toward the goal, comes not from frantic service but from joy? “because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” What if the difference between tiredness and weariness is the heart you are left with at the end of the day? “because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” I wonder…

Awaken us

Romans 13:11-12

Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.

awaken us… Lord

awaken us from our slumber

too long have we slept.
to long have we looked upon a darkened, dieing, hopeless world and lazily looked to the horizon for Your coming… or was that our T.V. set?

Awaken us Lord to the hunger that is within.
Stir your children of light from their comfortable seats… that we would know the feeling of Your armor again… the feeling of your sword.
Fan the fire of passion for Your Name… Your Fame… that we might feel the coursing fire flooding through our souls… like rivers… like springs of life.

Let us sleep no longer!
Let us waken from the night in search of our Beloved.
Let us throw ourselves against the gates of injustice… the gates of poverty… the gates of darkness… the gates of hell. Until we can no longer stand AND YET we stand!

AWAKEN US LORD!

Move us to the edges… gather us to the corners… take us OUTSIDE THE CAMP…

AWAKEN US LORD!

Awaken hearts that are broken for the broken hearted. Lives that are lived for the lost.

AWAKEN US LORD!

The night is far gone; the day is at hand.

Even so. Amen.

timothy mark mcdonald