"de-churched"

Hey guys,
I haven't had a lot of extra time to write lately BUT I stumbled across this clip on Desiring God that is really good... thought I would share it!
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers...

from heaven...

John 3:27

...John replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven..."

It is amazing how easy it is to begin to think we are God.

I know we would NEVER say it that way... but we behave like it. It's really subtle. In fact, it often sneaks up on us when we aren't looking.

These past few weeks Britany and I have begun (again) the process of looking for a home in Portland. House hunting is one of those love/hate things. It is really fun to look at all the possibilities and ask "what if" questions BUT it can also become a bit consuming and overhelming when you have a deadline and confused expectations. You suddenly find yourself trying to create the "perfect" home scenario... looking to meet all your needs and expectations. Nothing is good enough. Every option doesn't quite fit your expectations completely. And anxiety begins to build in your soul. Why can't I figure this out?!

Then you remember Jesus saying somthing like, "...don't be anxious..." (why is this such a hard thing to remember) and you realize God's in control... not you.

As I read this passage this morning in John I was reminded of this powerful truth... everything thing we recieve comes from God... not from me. I'm not God. Nor do I want to be... to big of a job. But God know's what I need even before I ask, His plans are trustworthy... and His provision perfect.

Lord, give me the grace to rest in Your provision... the courage to trust when I don't see the way... and the faith to stand and believe instead of trying to take the reigns. Amen.

wandering eyes...

2 Chronicles 16:9

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.

Luke 15:4,8,20

What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?

Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it?

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

I know that this is not usually what we think of when we say the phrase "wandering eyes", but I have been struck lately while reading the scriptures by how engaged God is in our reality. God is a people watcher. It seems is if on every level God is ACTIVELY seeking... those whose hearts are fully committed and those who are lost... those whose stares are fixed on Him and those whose stares are fixed on the ground... daring, hoping, to glance up into His face. Much like a holy version of J.R.R. Tolkien's "great eye" it seems to continuously be searching.

Searching for:
...passionately committed hearts.
...fragile lost (often foolish) wanderers.
...something (or one) with inherent cherished value.
...broken children willing to risk a humbled trek towards home.

Thank You Lord for being a God who searches... for being a God who engages. We are humbled by Your careful eye... and Your loving embrace.

roller coaster

It's been an interesting few weeks. Here our latest update...

To our supporters, friends and family,

What a roller coaster this last week has been. In the midst of the financial "meltdown" on Wall Street we have been in a emotional and financial tug-of-war with the sellers of the home and the company giving the loan (the two companies are connected). Depending on what hour of which day we either had the house and were moving forward or were never going to be able to get it... Thursday night we were called by the mortgage guy saying that he might be able to lend us the mortgage after all because the foundation was not as bad as we had originally thought. He was going to go to his boss and give it a try and let us know today whether they would take us. Well, in the midst of this, we began processing what the bottom line had become for us financially over these last days. With the Canadian dollar now so low we have lost 15% of our monthly support in 9 days and then lost thousands of dollars bringing our deposit across to the US from Canada. What this meant was that we were no longer in the financial condition we had started the process AND as we processed that we came to the realization that God wanted us to pull out of the house! We have asked God to lead us through this whole deal and I think that is the hardest part about it. At times it has felt like the doors were closing and then all of a sudden the door would open in amazing ways.

I (Britany) think we are dealing with a whole lot more than just losing a house offer. When I was writing in my journal this morning I realized that it had become TOO important to me that I settle me and this family ~ I think God has wanted me to surrender settling to Him. I think that it is all mixed with culture shock, moving back to the US, Tim learning a new job role, relearning how to do community and trying to find a home. We have come through the last 2 years and realized we are different people. We have grown, matured and also have to relearn who we are. God has been faithful and to be really honest I know that He has spared us from something.

I (Tim) have realized just how focused I had become on getting into a house. Partially I think I was looking for some of those settling pieces like Brit but also I think I was hoping it would solve some of our financial situation. I had begun to look to this house (or any house) as an answer to the big question of "what do we do now?" I believe God provides... I have said it before AND I believe it BUT it is always tricky to find that balance between doing all we can to make up for lost support AND waiting on His provision.

So this is where we are...

repentance

For any who have read anything by Dutch Sheets OR follow what has been going on in Florida OR have ever wondered to themselves about the Charismatic movement... I would encourage you to read this. It is VERY powerful and has a message that needs to be heard by anyone who would call him/herself a follower of Jesus.

Bless his words Lord I pray... that we might see a new generation of Your followers who are truly committed to living holy lives that produce fruit that lasts FOREVER!

Amen.

on being a dad

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger...

It has been a tough run this summer... after what was the longest stint of homelessness our family has ever experienced I think I can safely say that our emotions have all been worn thin. At least, I guess, that is the excuse I can use for "not being myself". I mean, other than a few seasons early in parenting, I can't think of that many times where I have been "angry dad"... but here I sit. I know, I know... it's the season of life... it's the stress of the move... a new city... a new job. But, none of that seems to change the heaviness I have felt these last couple weeks with my behavior towards these most precious of gifts.

This morning (divinely) I stumbled upon a post written by John Piper over a year ago. It both broke my heart and ministered deeply to me. For those of you who read this BLOG and have kids I would encourage you to take a look.

How often I see in my kids the behaviors, actions and attitudes they see in me. Just yesterday, while walking around the San Diego Zoo, I watched Duncan with his little calculator/day-timer "thingy" (that he wanted so he could be like his dad). He kept checking it every 15mins or so to get the time (or whatever else it does)... why? Well, probably because his dad just got an iphone and finds himself looking at IT every 15mins or so... getting the time and trying to figure out whatever else IT does (I know pretty sad... a blog for another day). The point is, often in my frustration I forget that every moment is a learning moment for a child. Truly I am discipling them to become like me (hopefully - as I am becoming like Christ)... even when I am angry. The sad truth we all know is that the best way to provoke a child to anger is to model it.

I am so thankful for these precious gifts that God has given to Britany and I AND they are the most amazing kids BUT I think it is important sometimes to stop and remember the weight of responsibility that has come with them. God has entrusted Britany and I with 4 "live-in" disciples for a minimum of 18 years each (God willing)... the reality is we won't get it "right" all the time... the truth is we need Him to be both OUR Teacher AND our kids Teacher.

I pray Lord that You would grant Britany and I the courage and strength to BE the people that You want these 4 kids to become.

For the sake of His Kingdom.
Amen

all things new...

Revelation 21:4-6

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new."... And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.

So... we have finally landed! After what has been a marathon furlough (almost 10 weeks) we have finally begun the process of settling in. The top pic is of our temporary rental home until we find something more permanent (keep praying for our house search). The second pic is of our street... only a short hop to the center of San Diego! (we've already met most of our next-door-neighbors)

You know those times when you are really in need of some hope... when things feel so far beyond your control... so far out of control... Britany the kids and I are in that place right now. Tired. Overwhelmed by change. Missing our friends in Glasgow like crazy. Missing our church. Missing our neighborhood. Missing "normal". We need some reminding of Who it is that IS in control. It can seem almost cliche in these times to draw on some picture of heaven that feels so far removed and so far beyond where we are...

YET

Right now we are mourning. Right now we are crying. Right now we are feeling pain. And the best way I can describe my heart is as thirsty... I need living water that doesn't cost anything (California is VERY expensive). It's ironic because right now everything IS new and all we can think about is what was... we need to be made new on the inside... re"new"ed I guess.

SO

For any of you who have kept up with us this summer and are still reading this BLOG we could sure use your prayers.

Lord, move in my heart (move in our hearts) make us new inside so that we can be the lights you have called us to. Quench our thirst Lord with Your living water. Revive our focus and our purpose... help us to fix our eyes on You in the midst of our circumstances.

Amen.

faith

Matthew 17:18-20

And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was healed instantly. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.

My family has walked through a lot this past year... as have many of you who read this BLOG (all three of you ;) ). After a while you begin to ask yourself the "faith" questions... why won't these mountains move? ...where did all these mountains come from in the first place? ...what's the matter with me? ...what's the matter with my faith? You begin to wonder why, if only a small amount of faith is needed to move mountains, do I seem so unable to even open a door?

Many of us have been in situations where we HAVE believed God and found ourselves in the strange place of actually seeing what we believed Him for materialize in front of us - as this man's sons healing did. It is amazing. It can take your breath away... praise God for those moments.

BUT

Many more of us have found ourselves in that place of believing God for something that did not materialize. We are left standing at a closed door. We know the "right" answer... that God's answer is always right (which I believe to be true) but we can't seem to reconcile these types of verses with our realities. We may have even found ourselves hearing (in our head OR in our ears) the voice of doubt or shame... "obviously we don't have enough faith". Hmmm.

One thing I know "for sure" is that I don't have enough faith. I don't believe enough. The disciples didn't have enough (Luke 17:5-6) and they walked around with Jesus right in front of them. Enough... what does that even mean? As if there was some magical quantity that gives you some sort of super power to do whatever you want... for Jesus of course.

BUT

I want to...

I want to be able to move these mountains AND I know that God can... I wonder, is that faith?

"The Peril of Prayer" 2

Matthew 6:6

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

I've always struggled with knowing how to balance a hidden life of prayer with a community life of prayer. Some of the most powerful times of prayer I have been a part of have been with a few of my closest friends on a poorly carpeted floor around a couple candles. It seems that God's presence is increased in some special way "when two or three are gathered" in His name. And if you consider the idea that I mentioned in my last post - that it is as possible to dishonor God alone in prayer as it is with a group - it gets even more complicated. How are we to pray in ways that make much of God and less of us? How are we to pray NOT like the hypocrites but LIKE the tax collector?

It would seem that the real issue is not one of place - though that can definitely help and is an essential part of a Christ followers journey - but more one of heart... what is the status of your heart as you pray?

Which is a complicated question for sinners like us.

Tozer's thoughts from "Keys to The Deeper Life" are:

"What then shall we do?
We must deny self, take up the cross and count ourselves expendable.
We must cease to exercise the world's judgments and try to think God's thoughts after Him.
We must reckon ourselves dead to gain and glory and allow ourselves to become inextricably involved with the cross of Christ and the high honor of God." pg66

Simple enough...

;)

but what does that look like?

"The Peril of Prayer"

Matthew 6:5

And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.

Recently I read an incredibly potent little book by A.W. Tozer called "Keys to The Deeper Life". More of a collection of thoughts, it is filled with amazing (and challenging) quotes and ideas. One idea specifically was in the area of prayer:

"Nothing is so vital as prayer, yet a reputation for being a mighty prayer warrior is probably the most perilous of all reputations to have. No selfishness is so deeply and dangerously sinful as that which glories in being a man of prayer. It comes near to being self-worship; and that while in the very act of worshiping God." pg65

Oh the hidden dangers of "being spiritual".

The truth is... I love to pray. By myself walking down the street, on the floor of my bedroom, in the morning with a couple of my closest friends, before a service at RE:hope... or lying beside my wife just before we go to sleep. BUT, I know this danger that Tozer refers to well. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what I think others will find interesting as I pray OR I hear the phrase "I echo my brothers prayers..." and a little pride seeps in OR (if it wasn't my prayer) I think about why my prayers were just as valuable as "my brothers" OR (and this is probably the most dangerous) I think about what I think God wants to hear... hmm... how do you spiritually "butter up" an all knowing completely majestic Lord of the universe?

The REAL truth is that there is a part of me that wants to be known as a "mighty prayer warrior"... a part of me that wants to look more worthy than I could ever be... a part of me that wants to hear "well done" not JUST from my Father in heaven, but from my brothers and sisters in Christ... a part of me wants... to steal... just a little... wee bit... of glory... for myself.

I know... I'm a sinner.

But the problem is... I want my reward - the promised one from that passage in Matthew 6 - and glory seems as good a reward as any. And I want it today, on my terms with payment in full in the here and now... did I mention that I am a sinner.

Fortunately, the Bible (and Tozer) has some thoughts on this very situation.