on being a dad

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger...

It has been a tough run this summer... after what was the longest stint of homelessness our family has ever experienced I think I can safely say that our emotions have all been worn thin. At least, I guess, that is the excuse I can use for "not being myself". I mean, other than a few seasons early in parenting, I can't think of that many times where I have been "angry dad"... but here I sit. I know, I know... it's the season of life... it's the stress of the move... a new city... a new job. But, none of that seems to change the heaviness I have felt these last couple weeks with my behavior towards these most precious of gifts.

This morning (divinely) I stumbled upon a post written by John Piper over a year ago. It both broke my heart and ministered deeply to me. For those of you who read this BLOG and have kids I would encourage you to take a look.

How often I see in my kids the behaviors, actions and attitudes they see in me. Just yesterday, while walking around the San Diego Zoo, I watched Duncan with his little calculator/day-timer "thingy" (that he wanted so he could be like his dad). He kept checking it every 15mins or so to get the time (or whatever else it does)... why? Well, probably because his dad just got an iphone and finds himself looking at IT every 15mins or so... getting the time and trying to figure out whatever else IT does (I know pretty sad... a blog for another day). The point is, often in my frustration I forget that every moment is a learning moment for a child. Truly I am discipling them to become like me (hopefully - as I am becoming like Christ)... even when I am angry. The sad truth we all know is that the best way to provoke a child to anger is to model it.

I am so thankful for these precious gifts that God has given to Britany and I AND they are the most amazing kids BUT I think it is important sometimes to stop and remember the weight of responsibility that has come with them. God has entrusted Britany and I with 4 "live-in" disciples for a minimum of 18 years each (God willing)... the reality is we won't get it "right" all the time... the truth is we need Him to be both OUR Teacher AND our kids Teacher.

I pray Lord that You would grant Britany and I the courage and strength to BE the people that You want these 4 kids to become.

For the sake of His Kingdom.
Amen